Daily Funny Joke - 09/16/2009 - Living to 100

An energetic rookie asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be 100. The doctor asked the man: "Do you smoke or drink?"

"No," he replied: "I've never done either. I'm dedicated to my sport and I'm going to be a major league star one day."

"Do you gamble, drive fast motorcycles or fool around with women?" inquired the doctor.

"No, I've never done any of those things, either."

"Well, then," said the doctor, "what do you want to live to be 100 for?"

Daily Funny Joke - 09/15/09 : Duck Hunter

A duck hunter was out in the marsh, enjoying the beautiful hunting weather when he felt the urge to relieve himself. So he walked over to the bushes and propped his gun against a tree. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew and knocked his gun over, discharging it and shooting him in the genitals.

Awaking several hours later in a hospital bed, our duck hunter is approached by his doctor. “Sir,” the doc begins “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there’s no internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”

“Wow, that’s great!” replied the hunter. “So what’s the bad news?”

“The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.”

“Oh, well that’s not so bad I guess,” the hunter replied. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”

“Not exactly.” answered the doctor. “She’s a flute player in the local symphony, and she’s gonna to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t pee in your eye.”

Ruminations - Random thoughts from 25-35 year olds

  • Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

  • I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

  • I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day

  • I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
    watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
    they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
    watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
    leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

More at : http://melon.posterous.com/random-thoughts-from-25-35-year-olds

Daily Funny Jokes


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